dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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