I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
