it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
