Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
