dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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