the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
