I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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