I love black thongs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
