Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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