There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
