Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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