There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
