that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
