Apparently you make a good broom.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
