What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
