I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
