My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
