I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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