Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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