apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
