i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
