worst night to have a conscience
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
