Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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