After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
