Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
