Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
