brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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