..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
