Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
