Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
