I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
