i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
