so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
