If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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