Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
