hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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