Well apparently he's into motor boating.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
