no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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