you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
