Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
