i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
