it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
