just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
