Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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