WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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