I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
