Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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