so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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