i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
