Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
