super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize