My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
