i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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