I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
