no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
