i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
