So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
