yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
