god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
