Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Im part way to drunk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
