we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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