Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
