help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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