i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
