thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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