Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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