Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
