My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize